When I ask you to listen to me

And you start given advice

You have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me

And you begin to tell me why

I shouldn't feel that way

You are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me

And you feel you have to do something

To solve my problems,

You have failed me,

Strange as that may seem.

Listen, and all I ask

Is that you listen,

Not talk or do,

Just hear.

Advice is cheap,

A few cents will get you both

Dear Abby & Billy Graham

In the same newspaper

And I could do that for myself.

I'm not helpless, maybe discouraged,

Maybe faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me

That I can and need to do for myself

You contribute to my fear and my weakness.

But when you accept as a simple fact

That I feel what I feel

No matter how irrational

Then I can quit trying to convince you

And get about the business of

Understanding what's behind

This irrational feeling and

When that's clear.

The answers are obvious

And I don't need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense

When you understand what's behind

Perhaps that's why prayer works

Sometimes for some people

Because God is mute

And try to fix things,

He just listens and

Lets you work it out for yourself.

So, please listen and just hear me

And if you want to talk,

Wait a minute for your turn

And I'll listen to YOU!

FAMILY COUNSELING WORKSHOP

ATLANTA, GEORGIA MARCH 1984